Ergotism

It’s one week after Halloween, and you know what that means? Christmas has begun! Get your bumperstickers from FoxNews.

The “Happy Holidays” Is For Pussies campaign has begun. If you’re a jerk who insists on saying Merry Christmas to people you damned well know don’t celebrate Christmas, get your bumpersticker from FoxNews today! (The Fleur De Lis are a real nice touch — very swishy and French. I guess FoxNews doesn’t want us to hate the French anymore.)

What is this kind of thinking? They’re apparently quite aware that there are people around the neighborhood who don’t celebrate the same holiday as they do. So their reaction is to say “Merry Christmas” as if no one is actually any different from them. Stick your head-in the sand for Santa Claus. Or maybe if you nag them enough they’ll relent and give up Ramadan and stick some stockings on their fireplace and suck on some candy canes.

I’m not offended if a stranger on the street tells me “Merry Christmas.” But I do think, “Jeez. That guy has no idea if I celebrate Christmas or not. What an idiot.”